Heat Mag is a “Slave” to Lame Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Stories

Heat magazine has a sterling track record when it comes to reporting on Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

After all, the tabloid once insisted that Stewart was living a miserable “nightmare” (not so much) and printed an “exclusive” photo of Pattinson sleeping on the Tube in London (oh, wait, that was faked).

Now Heat is exploring the pair’s relationship — and has concluded that Pattinson is more like Stewart’s “slave” than her boyfriend.

(shaking head)

After a gratuitous dig at Stewart, whom the mag describes as “famed for her below average acting abilities,” Heat claims the actress “treats her hunky beau like an assistant, often sending him out to buy booze and food.”

On cue, a so-called “source” provides this gem of a quote: “She’s like, ‘I love Rob, but I love my dogs, too.’”



Weirdly, some sites picking up the rumor try to connect it with the notion that Pattinson is “possessive” of Stewart. Somehow, by supposedly treating Pattinson like a “servant,” Stewart breaks his hold on her.



Here’s what seems more likely: Outlets are replacing their debunked claims that Pattinson is controlling with equally lame assertions that Stewart is controlling.



Maybe Heat should “master” the fine art of accurate reporting before (badly) playing amateur relationship counselor.



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